The official caffeinated coping mechanism for the holiday season.

This blend combines a boldly-festive, earthy Papua New Guinea coffee with a smooth, balanced Colombian coffee—perfectly mimicking the transition from holiday dread to sudden, gift-buying panic. These two distinct origins create a paradoxical harmony in every cup. Much like an extended family crammed around a single dinner table, they have completely different personalities and are forced into an awkward, compromise. The result is a beautifully tense stand-off that is part forced cheer, part dark cocoa notes, and 100% necessary for surviving the annual family gathering. Pairs best with heavy sighing, locking the front door, and hiding under a blanket until January.

WARNING: May cause spontaneous eye-rolling and an inability to fake-smile at festive small talk. Do not
consume within 50 feet of a mall Santa.